Pulling a Culinary Hat Trick

I have to admit it. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. Why? Because I did something that allowed me to accomplish three very domestic acts in one fell swoop.

1. Grow something edible in a garden.

2. Use it to make something homemade.

3. Post it to Pinterest.

I don’t know why I feel the urge to do the third one. Maybe my rather diminutive feminine side decided to assert herself today for some reason, like the time when a group of girls asked me who my favorite New Kid was. I didn’t have one, but I noticed no one seemed to be taking Jon or cutting his picture out to put in their lockers. I figured I could use their old copies of Tiger Beat and help myself blend in with others of my kind at the same time. (Kindness and thriftiness double combo!) But enough of that….

What did I grow, you ask? Tomatoes and green peppers! (There are also jalapeños, habaneros, and some watermelons out there.) The onions, zucchini, and garlic are from Publix, but baby steps to “domestic goddess status,” I guess. You can put other veggies in there, too, but these were the ones suggested to me by the friend who gave me the recipe.


To turn all this scrumptious produce into homemade marinara, all you need to do is roughly chop everything into bite-sized pieces, like so…


Then cover the veggies in a liberal coating of olive oil, kosher salt, and black pepper. However, roasted garlic is a little different. All you need to do for it is cut the tip off to expose the bulbs. Then cover it in olive oil and wrap each head up in its own foil pouch.


Put all this deliciousness in the oven (set to 350 degrees or so) for about thirty minutes or until the veggies are soft.


Let them cool off just a bit and then put them in a food processor with the bulbs of roasted garlic, a handful of fresh basil leaves, and some of the juice from the pan.


Blend until combined. It can be as smooth or as chunky as you’d like. However, since I’m freezing some of it, I opted for “well blended.”


Spread the sauce out to let it cool. Then you can either can or freeze it to use whenever you want to make a fresh pot of pasta. Honestly, it’s not that much work, and it tastes amazing!

And now, I can go watch baseball with a clear conscience. Thank goodness.

Om Nom Nom Nanner Bread!

Perhaps it’s because autumn is approaching or I have some inexplicable need to nest now because I feel like Babe, Pig in the Big City. For whatever reason, I’ve felt an unquenchable desire to make tasty baked goods as of late. There’s something about baking that’s so much more gosh darned fun than straight up cooking. I mean, really, there’s nothing nutritional about baking–unless you make flax seed, granola, and wheat germ laden natural goods, but who in her right mind wants to eat THAT?

So, yeah, I’ve been baking. First, it was orange cranberry muffins made with zested orange peel. Then I got crazy and made a two layer chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and a chocolate ganache glaze. The latter of the two was pure sin. Seriously, if I were Catholic, I would have bring it up in confession and say about twelve Hail Marys or Hello Dollys or whatever it is they do for penance.

The problem is that I can’t keep satisfying my need to bake and still fit in my pants if I keep choosing to bake using two sticks of butter and heavy cream in every recipe. Hence, I went looking for something low fat and relatively tasty. I came across a recipe for banana bread and tweaked it a little to make it my own.

Here’s everything you’ll need and a step-by-step photo guide to help you make your own version of this tasty and not-too-terribly-fattening loaf pan o’ heaven.

1. Set your oven to 350 degrees.

2. Grease a loaf pan.

3. Using a sifter, combine 1 1/2 cups of all purpose flour.

4. Add 3/4 cup of white sugar.

5. Add 1 1/4 teaspoons of baking powder

6. Add 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

7. Add 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon (get the good stuff!)

8. Sift it like it’s 1999 and set aside.

9. Excess dry ingredients are easily disposed of. Make ’em “sleep with the dishes.” (Pun totally intended!)

10. Select some medium bananas. I like to use three, but two might suffice.

11. Cut ’em up, mush ’em up, waaaayyyy up!

12a. Dispose of banana refuse….

12b. Or use them in a hilarious practical joke on an unsuspecting guest!

13. Select two eggs.

14. Separate out the whites.

15. Dispose of the yolks (or save them to make Creme Brulee).

16. Put smushed nanners in the dry goods.

17. Add egg whites.

18. Add 1/2 cup of applesauce. *The recipe I found called for a 1/4 cup, but my first batch came out a little too dry for my liking, so I added a little more.*

19. Add a 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla.

20. Add 1/3 cup of chopped walnuts and a 1/3 cup golden raisins.

21. Stir until combined, but don’t go crazy with it.

22. Pour into greased loaf pan.

23. Put in oven.

24. Set timer. (I checked at 45, and it wasn’t done. I ended up baking it for 50 minutes.)

25. Contemplate your place in the universe and/or the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow (African or European).

26. Check it with a toothpick. It should, like Andy Dufresne, “come out clean on the other side.”


27. Defend your delicious creation from your prowling spouse!

28. Have the leftovers from your first attempt nearby to distract him as the delicious cake cools.

What you’ll have is a cake that is fairly good for you and totally ready to…