….OF A BOOK! OF A BOOK!!!

Oh well, if you clicked and read this far, the title was a sufficient tease. Nope, I’m sorry to tell you this post isn’t some Chelsea Handler-esque confessional of “my horizontal life.” That’s not how I roll.

This week’s Top Ten Booklist is a FREEBIE. The folks over at The Broke and the Bookish have liberated us to make up any top ten list we want (or to revisit one of the older ones we didn’t get a chance to complete). I went for the latter and chose a topic I’ve wanted to blog about for awhile—FICTIONAL CRUSHES!!

This is a list of some of the fictional men I’ve loved and have wanted to be courted by since I was old enough to read. I went through my bookshelves, considering who’d make the top ten, which was rough for a bookworm like myself. As I looked the list over, I noticed I go for either the dark, tortured souls or the stable, fatherly type. I also have a penchant for men who wear masks and don disguises. (I’m thinking an hour or two of therapy might be in order.

Oher than number one, the love of my literary life, the others are not ranked. I simply can’t decide because they swap places often. However, I can assure you that you will NOT find sparkly vampires, barechested werewolves, or boys in skinny jeans here folks! I only go for the genuine article!

1. Edward Fairfax Rochester (Jane Eyre)–If you’ve read any of my previous booklist posts, you’d know my favorite novel of all time is Jane Eyre. I know that one of the reasons for my choice is the Byronic hero of that wonderful tale. (I even named my instrument after him!) Mr. Rochester is the epitome of brooding. Wouldn’t you be if you were forever bound to a crazy pyromaniac who you had keep secreted away in an attic–one you were essentially married off to against your will? The way he sits staring at fires, his mercurial moods forever changing because of his great dissatisfaction with the life he’s been dealt, makes him irresistible to me. There’s nothing better than a “fixer upper beau” as far as I’m concerned. He hits all three notes in the literary crush chord—tortured soul, fatherly (he’s many years Jane’s senior), and he dons a disguise. To the world, he’s a carefree gentleman, playing a part, but that’s not even close to his true self. (He also physically disguises himself as a gypsy in one of my favorite chapters.)

2. Faramir (The Lord of the Rings)–What’s NOT to love about Faramir? If you’ve read the book, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t get me wrong, David Wendham did a great job with him in the films, but he didn’t get nearly enough screen time. Faramir is noble, intelligent, fearless, humble, kind, and beloved by all–he’s almost too perfect for words. Neither the ring nor power tempt him, and he let sboth go easily. However, when something is worth defending, he is the first to take up arms and the last to put them down. He’s a scholar, a lover, and a fighter who is used to conceding to his father and brother not because he was weak but because he didn’t need pointless victories to feel power.

3. Sodapop Curtis (The Outsiders)–I can’t explain this one as readily as the others on my list. Well, sure the fact that he has “dark gold hair that the sun bleached wheat gold in the summer”  and eyes that “…are dark brown- lively, dancing, recklessly raping with anger” in “a finely drawn, sensitive face that somehow manages to be reckless and thoughtful at the same time” doesn’t hurt. He’s a peacemaker who doesn’t need to drink, smoke, or fight to feel alive. Instead, as he puts it, he can “get drunk on just plain living.” Sensitive, calm, and loving, Sodapop cries at his parents’ funeral and mourns when his girlfriend leaves him to go to Florida (even after she cheated on him). He was swoon-worthy to a preteen version of me. (It also didn’t hurt that Rob Lowe played him the movie.)

4. Sydney Carton (A Tale of Two Cities)–Ah yes, Sydney is the character who utters the line, “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known” as he is about to be murdered in the place of a man who he envies so that the woman they both love can be happy. Intelligent, passionate, and handsome despite his gruffness, he is still one of the most inscrutable characters in all of Dickens’ works. (Seriously, the man could take two pages to describe an eddy in a river, but he couldn’t take the time to explain why this man tortures himself and is happier living other people’s lives instead of his own!?!? That’s a laundry list of details I would actually have enjoyed reading!) I’d have to say that Sydney is right there below Rochester in the tortured department, and his entire life is the ultimate disguise. He’s nearly the triumvirate of literary hotness, but not quite.

5. Jon Snow (The Song of Ice and Fire series)–Don’t get me wrong. I loved Eddard Stark, and Robb wasn’t hard to fall head over heels for. But there’s something so alluring about the bastard son of the Starks. He’s compassionate and is an effective leader, and he’s made some hard calls so far in the series (in both love and war). He’s as much Ned’s son as Robb, but the world will not give him his due respect because of his birthright. And that’s something he’s hellbent on correcting. What is it about a man clothed in black with a chip on his shoulder the size of the wall that is so darned alluring? *deep sigh* I can’t wait to see what Mr. Martin is going to do with him in the last two books!

6. The Scarlet Pimpernel/Sir Percy Blakeney (The Scarlet Pimpernel)–I only read this book a few years ago, but holy crow is Blakeney bewitching! He’s willing to don the disguise of a fop in order to cover up the fact he is actually a swashbuckling hero. He’s willing to put himself in harm’s way to save nobles wrongly accused and persecuted by the evil French revolutionaries and their guillotine, but he’s tortured because his disguise actually keeps the love of his life from knowing who he truly is. Wealthy, clever, brave, rugged, and a paragon of fashion, the Pimpernel is totally scrumptious.

7. Bigby Wolf (Fables)–If you’ve not read Bill Willinghams’ comic, do yourself a favor and go buy every trade paperback you can get your hands on! It’s an amazing story (one I’m convinced spawned the shows Grimm and Once Upon a Time). Simply put, the storybook characters are real, and they’ve been run out of their homelands by a looming figure known only as “The Adversary.” Bigby is the Big Bad Wolf (Get it? Big-B?!) The son of a wolf mother and the North Wind (hence the ability to blow down houses), he was the runt and felt the need to prove himself, and his rage prompted him to only prey on humans. However, because he’s reformed and can sniff out lies, he makes a great sheriff in Fabletown (the area of New York the fables call home). He can take on human form (somewhat like a werewolf) and is grizzled and gruff in the extreme. I like to think of him as a combination of Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade and Wolverine. Yummo.

8. Biff Loman (Death of a Salesman)–Yeah, he’s good looking and quite the athlete, but Biff appeals to me because of his desire to be his own man and his poet’s soul. I fell for him the first time I taught this play, probably because I was the same age he is at the time. The scene in which he confronts his father and tells him about stealing the gold pen speaks to me in a way that few ever have. He says, “I run out of that building and I see… the sky. I see all the things I love in this world. The work, the food, the time to sit and smoke. And I look at this pen and I ask myself, ‘What the hell am I grabbing this thing for? Why am I trying to become something I don’t wanna become when all I want is out there waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am?'” He’s a simple man who only wants peace but whose soul is always at war…both with his father and himself. Good stuff.

9. Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)–This one is the epitome of temptation number two, the father figure. Who DIDN’T want a dad like Atticus Finch?!? Noble, soft spoken, stable, intelligent, and unprejudiced, he’s everything women want in a working class hero package. However, he’s also a man of action (think of that rabid dog sequence if you doubt me) who doesn’t shrink away from a battle…even if he knows he’s bound to lose. Oh, and he’s a widower. Can you say “Man Candy”?

10. George Knightley (Emma)–Mr. Knightley is the only reason I survived reading Emma (because she drove me crazy with her small-minded meddling). Wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice, he doesn’t flaunt his wealth or look down on those less fortunate than himself. In fact, he helps quite a few characters over the course of the novel. Kind, compassionate, level-headed, and moral, he’s exactly what the flippant and childish Emma (and every woman who’s ever read the book) needs to be truly happy. He’s the least tortured of all my crushes and isn’t fond of disguises, but he’s all the more captivating for his openness. Sometimes, it’s nice to have a man who’s easy like Sunday morning.

**Bonus Pick** Feldrin Brelak (Scimitar Seas series)–Ladies, ladies, ladies…If you haven’t read my friend Chris A. Jackson’s Scimitar Seas series, you are totally missing out!! There are currently three books out there for you to enjoy and a fourth one currently in the process of being published. The protagonist is a strong female character named Cynthia Flaxall, and the plot is fresh, creative, and well-crafted. And Feldrin, well, I’ll just say it….he’s hot as heck. He’s a strapping sailor with a soft spot for Cyn, one who’s equally good at sea battles and piracy (though he’d call it privateering). Square jawed, plainspoken, and unapologetically and overwhelmingly masculine–you’ll not find a more tempting sea biscuit in all of fantasy literature.